Tier fifteen?
by SCIK1012
Summary: Finn is curious about it and Jake tries to avoid telling him. A short fic for having some fun while we wait for "Burning low".
1. Tier fifteen?

Tier fifteen?

"What about tier fifteen?" Finn asked freeing his arm from the foil that covered his entire body and made him look like a giant Everything burrito.

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM THAT!" Jake yelled in a sudden mood swing, frowning and pointing the intrigued boy with his not laddered arm.

Finn stared at him with a blank expression on his face while still pointing what turned out to be an infamous step in "dating junk's natural path." What could be so bad about it if his brother had just told him that every other tier was special and important? "Glob, I never thought that, there are forbidden steps that we'll have to avoid when dating a girl!" the human boy replied once they started walking again.

"Hmmm, well… it's not like it is forbidden…" his older brother tried to explain while trying to figure out how to make Finn understand without messing up his brain or giving him the wrong idea "I mean, you'll have to get into it at some point of your life…"

"Really?" Finn gasped "but get into what bro?"

Jake froze realizing that he had made a terrible word choice "Listen boy, you are not old enough to get into anyone- I mean into anything- I mean! You won't be getting into nothing! Okay?" the growled in frustration "What I'm trying to say is that, you can't reach that tier unless you are ready and properly prepared to go through it…"

"But Jake…" the boy said standing in front of him "I'm ready and prepared to go through anything with her!" his eyes sparkled and grew big in a toon-like way.

The dog blushed and tried to hide his face "Finn!" he moaned, "You don't even know what you are talking about!"

"Well, I would know if you dared to tell me what's that tier about!" Finn replied impatiently.

"I can't!" the yellow dog shouted, "You are not ready, not even Lady and I are prepared for it!"

Finn gave him a puzzled look "It must be something pretty bad, if gets you into that nervous state man!"

Jake slapped his face "It's not something bad, it's something natural! Almost challenging for both and you'll probably end up falling even deeper in love with her, but get this inside your head bro, it's not your time and I won't talk about it tonight either!"

"Okay, man I get it." Finn said trying to unwrap himself and started to walk again.

Jake sighed feeling a delicious wave of relief hitting his body. He just didn't want to talk about that yet. Since their parents weren't there for them anymore, Jake knew that the heavy responsibility of telling the young teenager the "Birds and bees" story was over his magical dog shoulders but dang! The kid was growing up too fast for him.

"You can explain it to me tomorrow!" Finn shouted jumping happily around him "Yeah bro? Pleaasee…you know how much I like her! I really want to share whatever it is with her!"

"What?" Jake screeched, "That's not what I meant when I said that I didn't want to talk about it tonight!" he scolded his brother again "We'll talk about it in….mmm…" the dog mumbled rubbing his chin "Ten years! Yeah, maybe seven if you are lucky!"

"Hey! That's a lot of time!" the boy complained frowning.

"If you wanna know, then be patient!" Jake said playing wise "Good things always come with time and-…" He noticed that Finn was leaving at high speed towards another direction "W-where the math are you going?" he yelled in terror.

"I'll go ask Marcy about it!" the boy replied sticking out his tongue at him.

"Finn! No! COME BACK HERE!" the dog cried trying follow his pace "Don't you dare to ask her about **that**! Finn, are you listening? FINN!"


	2. The natural course of things

"The natural course of things"

Jake stopped inside Marceline's cave and leaned on a rock to catch his breath "Wait…Finn…don't…" he kept trying to shout while panting. He saw the vampire's light purple door opening. Finn came out with a stern look on his face.

"Don't tell me that she actually told you about it!" the magical dog yelled watching his brother in astonishment.

Finn frowned and folded his arms over his chest "Nah, she laughed at me and then called me late precocious squirt…" he moaned sitting on the wet ground "What the math does prepcon- precussi- precou- whatever even means?"

Jake swept some sweat drops off his forehead sighing with relief "Hehe, why didn't you ask her about that too?" he chuckled teasing the annoyed boy.

"I did, and guess what she told me!" Finn exclaimed raising his arms "Look in a dictionary! … Why would I do that? Have you seen how big dictionaries are? It would take me forever!"

"Great!" The yellow dog laughed "Now you can forget about-…" he noticed the vampire queen staring at them from her window. "Hi! Umm… we were just leaving!" Jake said standing up and grabbed Finn's arm to pull him out of the cavern. "Right bro?"

"Who's leaving man?" the human replied sitting again with his arms crossed "I'm not moving till' I get answers!"

Marceline laughed seeing this as a golden opportunity to bother the stressed bulldog and get a little fun for herself on that boring night. She opened the window and floated towards them with a silly smile on her face "Hey Jake! Why are you talking about romance, fluff, rituals and stuff with this dweeb again, huh? Don't you remember what happened last time?" she flew over his head "If he tries to go "tier fifteen" on me I swear, I'll kill you first!"

"Nah,nah,nah! Marceline, you are getting it all wrong!" a frightened Jake replied denying with his arms "I'm trying to make him stop talking about it!"

She stared at him with a smirk "You want him to stop talking? Then tell him the whole story and it will be over pretty soon!"

"Yeah Jake! Why is it so hard?" Finn asked impatiently.

"Cause I already told you that you are not ready!" the dog shouted.

"What do you mean his not ready?" the vampire replied landing between them and passed her arm around Finn's shoulder to whisper at his ear "You know? At your age, I already knew about it and mooreeee…"

"Holy Glob! There's more?" the human boy gasped in surprise.

"Well yeah, duh! It's an important part of life, or course there's got to be more!" she began to float around him "tier fifteen is the most wild and exciting of all! For example-…"

"You'd better stop spoiling my little brother's mind RIGHT NOW!" Jake interrupted the vampire lady angrily causing her to laugh.

"Spoiling? Man, for your information I'm not spoiling, I'm teaching him…uhg…how would Bonnie say this? Biology, life science?" Marceline shook her head "Anyway, you should have talked about this with Finn before! How old is he? Thirteen, fourteen? You are leaving the poor guy behind!"

Jake frowned folding his arms "You only remember about his true age when it suits you, right?"

"Jake, don't leave behind!" Finn shouted grabbing the bulldog's shoulders "Marceline's right, I'm not a kid anymore, you can't do this to me!"

"Okay, okay, fine! I admit it!" the dog replied lowering his gaze "Finn's not one who's not ready…I am…" he lifted his head to stare at his brother with sparkling sad eyes "I'm not prepared to have this conversation with you, I'm still not ready to see you grow!" he cried covering his eyes "I feel so ashamed!"

"Geez…Jake, you need professional attention!" the vampire queen said sitting on the ground next to him.

"You know what?" Jake replied staring at Finn "I do need some help and I know just the person who will answer all your questions, yeah! I'll take you to her so I can stop feeling guilty for you!"

"Really man? Are you serious?" the boy exclaimed jumping happily.

"But you'll have to swear that if take you with her, you'll stop asking about it for ten years, deal?"

"Deal! I swear!" Finn replied with determination.

Finn, Jake and Marceline traveled to the Grasslands after the yellow dog made an appointment with this mysterious person using Marceline's phone.

"Hey bro!" the human boy called staring at his brother with curiosity "Do I need to wear foil on tier fifteen?"

Jake was about to reply when the vampire went ahead of him "Actually, you don't need to wear anything!"

"What?" the young hero asked blushing.

"Ignore her!" his older brother replied staring at Marceline while she was laughing crazily over them "Oh!" he gasped pointing forward "There she is, the answer to all our problems: Lady Rainicorn!"

"You can't be serious!" Marceline chuckled patting the annoyed teenager's head "You cheated him!"

/

Two hours later…

"보라 생활은 간단하고 멋진이며, 물론 사랑보다 더 아름다운 일은 없다!소년과 소녀가 원할 때 훨씬 더, hehehe! 훨씬이 되신다면, 모두가 즐길 수 있도록 개인의 가족과 모든 사람들이 육체적인 노동 조합을 통해 그들의 편에서 뭔가를 넣어 와야한다는 일반적으로 이루어집니다를 형성하기 위해 참여를 결정 ! Oh! Wohoo!이제는 모두 소년 시작 ..."

"My Glob, babe! How do you find the courage to say such things out loud?" A tomato colored Jake replied and then turned around to speak to his little brother "Was it clear? Did you get it now?"

"NO!" Finn shouted angrily for being so easily fooled by Jake. Marceline floated snoring quietly over him.

"Hahaha! Now you'll have to keep your promise!" the yellow dog sang happily "I don't wanna hear anything about tier fifteen in ten loooong years!" he noticed that Finn was standing up and began to run away. "Where are you going now, for Glob's sake?"

"I'm just gonna talk to Flame Princess about the natural course of things and ask her what she thinks about it, maybe she knows what tier fifteen is about!"

Jake stood up to chase him again "Wait Finn! Don't do that, now you'll spoil her too!" he shouted "Stop right now, or I'll have to tell the Flame King about this!" Did you hear me? I'm going to accuse you with her father! I'll tell him that Prince Finn is a stalker and it's going after his daughter!"

"What does stalking have to do with this?" Finn replied with curiosity but keeping his quick pace "You told me that tier fifteen wasn't bad!"

"Well...ummm...NOW IT IS! No tier fifteen until you two are twenty years old or I'll have her father locking her in that lamp again."

Finn stopped his running with a sudden movement "Okay...I'll forget about this, but just because of her!"

Jake laughed to himself, of course he'll never do such thing to them, he just cheated Finn...again.


End file.
